The pandemic made one thing very clear: social distancing is difficult, stressful, and a prime trigger for depression as well as poor health habits. Human beings are not the only social animals (so are dolphins, rabbits, and horses, for example), but all of them share this characteristic: a social life is critical to their very…

When self-esteem first became a byword, it was defined by psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden as “the integrated sum of self-confidence and self-respect”—taking responsibility for yourself, feeling self-sufficient, and believing you have personal worth. In later years, psychologist equated healthy self-esteem more closely with the attitude a person has toward themself. You have high self-esteem if you:…

Stress often begins when you lack the resources or competence to take care of a situation that must be dealt with. Some of those resources will be external—training, tools, knowledge—and some will be emotional. Self-confidence helps you fight through, find resources, and increases the physical and emotional ability to use them. Self-confidence is affected by…

Trust in yourself develops much the same way as trust in others. They are both built over time through sharing, respect, honesty, integrity, and reliance we will get from others and give ourselves the support we need. Trusting Yourself When you have trouble trusting yourself, you are constantly second-guessing and hiding your true feelings and…

Emotional intelligence (EI) can be defined as knowledge about one’s own emotions and sensitivity to the emotions of others. Although it seems evident that people should know their own emotions, often we have trouble identifying them either because the situation is new to us or the emotions are so tangled. Understanding the emotions of others…

Resilience has come under more and more scientific scrutiny as both allowing people to bounce back from adversity and yet, when extreme, leading them to persist in behaviors that have no benefit (what some researchers have called the “Too Much of a Good Thing Effect” or TMGT). Like an old-fashioned Weeble, you demonstrate resilience when…

Negative emotions arise easily when life doesn’t go as planned.  What makes it even worse is when you’ve done your homework, thought through potential roadblocks, and prepared the team, family, and friends by sharing expectations, things can still go very wrong. When this happens it evokes senses of failure, disappointment, and regret. There is another…

Working with people each and every day around the issues of stress I hear a lot of “I’m gonna start” statements.  I’m sure you say them yourself: I’m gonna start going to the gym. I’m gonna start going on date nights with my spouse. I’m gonna start connecting with people more. I’m gonna start coming…

Bad habits stick with us because they offer a temporary reward (procrastinating), satisfy a physical craving (smoking), feel good (that extra scoop of ice cream), and can be fun (video games). In fact, given the appeal of bad habits, why would good habits ever win out? Good habits have few if any bad side effects,…

A leader of a prominent company reached out to us recently. He had been struggling at work and at home by not completing tasks on time, snapping at people for little things, and getting irritated even in situations he normally enjoyed. People were noticing and definitely letting him know there’s a change in his attitude. He…