What Happens If You Don’t Change?
Read Time: 5 minutes 40 seconds
Groundhog Day, an American movie classic, is a story of Phil Connors (Bill Murray) where he is a weatherman covering the renowned Punxsutawney Phil groundhog coming out of his hole when he gets caught up in a time loop. Each day he awakes for another chance to get things right, make a difference, until he ultimately changes his ways.
If you were stuck in such a time loop, what would you need to change before being life moves on? Would you need to change the insane hours you keep, not seeing your family and missing out on important events? What about the same level of productivity each month, same frustrations, same paycheck that doesn’t cover all your bills? How would your story end if you don’t change?
Change just doesn’t feel uncomfortable. Neurological researchers have proven the brain perceives change as a threat. Your brain tells you to resist, run from, fight, and refuse change at all costs. It lies to you, convincing you that your situation, mental state, money issues, relationship struggles are all normal and ‘part of life’ or ‘it is what it is.’ The costs? You stay stuck, overwhelmed, actively lose money, further fracture relationships, for what? Pride and lies you tell yourself.
Combat your brains deception and resistance of change by doing the following:
1. Know your choices – We all have choices we can make that alter the directions of our experiences and the results of our current reality. Some of those choices might be hard to execute and even more difficult to swallow but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Nothing will be as costly as what would happen if nothing changed.
Dr. Marilee Adams is the author of “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life”, and creator of the Inquiry Institute and their tool The Choice Map. In their process, people have conscious choice around everything they do through a Learner/Judger Mindset ™. Depending on the types of questions asked of oneself, a person can switch their mental perspective and direction to get themselves unstuck and moving toward more positive choices.
Note: You can learn more about The Choice Map by clicking the image below.
2. Be humble – Pride is a killer of change management. Pride makes you believe you know it all, don’t need anyone, can do it on your own, and that you’re smart so you should be able to figure it out for yourself. LIES! Yes, you’re smart in what you know. Your struggles clearly highlight for you what you don’t. There are specific actions you can take to be more humble. Put these into your daily, life actions:
- Give your gifts and accept your gaps.
- Compliment others easily.
- Be very comfortable with saying, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
- Know the difference between celebrating your achievements and bragging.
- Share the limelight equally with others.
- Actively listen and honestly consider other perspectives first.
3. Do you, Boo Boo – Constantly comparing what others have to what you do/don’t have is a very quick spiral into stress, anxiety, depression, and self-defeating decision making. Many professionals are conditioned from early in their education to compare themselves to others. School rankings, test scores, monthly productivity, number of direct reports, the list goes on and on for the ways in which one compares their success to others. Social media makes it even easier to compare yourself as people post only the best of what they have and never the struggle or costs of what got them there.
“Being perfect isn’t the absence of mistakes, rather the acceptance of them.” Jen Butler
By this definition, you are perfect in every way. There is no need to compare yourself to others because we are ALL doing the same thing, making the same mistakes, and living similar lives. What separates the stressed from the blessed is the way in which people view their natural strengths, leverages them, find people to compliment them, and see the opportunities around them because of their gaps. What it comes down to it, do you Boo Boo!
Our brain’s ability to deceive us is well researched and documented, especially when it perceives threats. Change is a threat and through lies, falsehoods, distortions, and other tricks it prays on our body’s desire to take the path of least resistance.
You can combat these psychological defenses by:
1. Knowing your choices.
2. Staying humble.
3. Do you boo boo.